b U t T e R f L i E S

IF you look back to post number one titled "The Beginning" I briefly mention BUTTERFLIES. But I have been thinking about them more lately. You see why do we call our nervous stomach BUTTERFLIES? It's definitely odd. I wish I could get rid of them and tell then never to come back.

In my mind over the past few weeks I have repeated a verse to myself over and over again in my head, especially while driving because that's when some of my best thinking occurs. It says.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition present your requests to God. And the PEACE OF GOD which
transcends ALL UNDERSTANDING will guard
your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I have been thinking about this lately because I'm nervous

for a
lot of things,
but I shouldn't be. I should trust that God is up there and
guarding my heart
and my mind. I should know that I can bring any
request to him, none is to
big or to small. This verse just truly is
what is
giving me hope that I can
deliver my speech without wavering. I
know that
God will give me peace in the
moment and all will be fine.

Here is my BUTTERFLY list.

1. Valedictorian Speech
2. Flying and being completely by myself in the world from Friday to Sunday... My limbo time between my family here and my "family" in Holland
3. Leaving - leaving behind friends, saying goodbyes, missing out on great summer memories
4. My Swedish resident permit. What if I am denied access into Sweden? Could that even happen after God has gotten me this far?
5. Life- what in the world am I going to do with my life after this 8 months is over

It may be bizarre to you all my worries but really truly I just think a lot, and I like to be informed so imagine all scenarios, good and bad that is why i worry. I worry that the bad things will happen or the good ones wont. And that I'm doing the wrong things... nothing specific just in general should I have taken a different path?

I know this is a long post... but there was a lot on my mind tonight:)